When Silence Becomes Dangerous: Why Men Need to Speak

In October 2025, I stood on the stage at TEDxViikki in the beautiful city of Helsinki to deliver a talk that felt both deeply personal and urgently necessary.

The title of the talk is simple, but the message behind it is complex: why men’s stories matter.

For many years I have worked in engineering, a profession that prides itself on solving problems. We design systems, structures, and technologies to keep people safe. Yet there is one issue that quietly sits beneath the surface of many workplaces, including engineering: the emotional silence many men carry.

This silence has consequences.

In the UK and across many parts of the world, men are significantly more likely to die by suicide than women. At the same time, many men feel that the spaces where conversations about wellbeing, identity, and inclusion are happening were not designed with them in mind.

The result can be a dangerous combination: men who feel lost, unheard, or uncertain about where they belong in a changing world.

My TEDx talk explores this tension.

The Culture of Silence

From a young age, many boys are taught a simple rule: be strong, don’t show weakness.

Strength becomes associated with stoicism. Vulnerability becomes something to hide.

In high-pressure professions such as engineering, construction, energy, and technology, this culture can become even more pronounced. The environments are often male-dominated, performance-driven, and focused on results. Emotional expression can feel out of place.

Yet the irony is striking.

These same industries spend enormous effort improving physical safety while often overlooking psychological safety.

We design systems to prevent accidents, but we rarely design cultures that allow people to speak openly about what they are carrying inside.

Safety Is Not Just Physical

My work on The SAFE Leader has always been rooted in a simple idea: safety must include the human experience.

The SAFE framework stands for:

• Share – creating spaces where people can tell their stories

• Act – taking responsibility for building better cultures

• Feel – recognising emotion as part of leadership

• Empower – enabling others to speak and lead with confidence

When these elements are present, organisations become more than productive. They become places where people feel they belong.

And belonging is a powerful protective factor.

When someone feels they can share what is really going on in their life, the weight of isolation becomes lighter.

Why Men’s Stories Matter

One of the messages at the heart of my TEDx talk is that men need spaces where their stories can exist without judgement.

This is not about competing narratives or diminishing the importance of equality movements that have transformed our workplaces for the better.

It is about recognising that progress must include everyone.

Many men are trying to navigate new expectations around identity, masculinity, and leadership. Some embrace these changes enthusiastically. Others struggle quietly, unsure how they fit.

If we want safer workplaces and healthier societies, we cannot leave those men behind.

We need conversations that invite men into the room rather than leaving them standing outside the door.

Engineering Culture Has a Role to Play

As a safety engineer, I often think about systems.

When accidents occur, we rarely blame individuals alone. Instead, we examine the system around them. We ask what pressures, incentives, and cultural factors contributed to the outcome.

The same thinking can apply to mental health and wellbeing.

If large numbers of men feel unable to speak about vulnerability, that is not simply an individual issue. It is a system design problem.

And systems can be redesigned.

Leadership plays a critical role here. When leaders share their own experiences openly, they give others permission to do the same.

A single moment of honesty from someone in a position of authority can unlock conversations that might otherwise never happen.

From Silence to Strength

One of the most powerful realisations in my own journey has been this:

Vulnerability is not the opposite of strength. It is a form of strength.

The courage to speak about our experiences, our fears, and our struggles creates connection.

Connection builds trust.

Trust builds safer teams.

And safer teams build better organisations.

This is why storytelling sits at the centre of my work. Stories humanise leadership. They remind us that behind every job title is a person navigating their own life.

Watch the TEDx Talk

Delivering this talk at TEDxViikki was a special moment for me.

Helsinki is a city known for its design, its openness, and its willingness to think differently about the future. It felt like the perfect place to have a conversation about how we design cultures that are truly safe for everyone.

If this topic resonates with you, I invite you to watch the talk and share it with someone who might need to hear the message.

Because sometimes the most important step toward safety is simply starting a conversation.

And that conversation might begin with a story that someone has been waiting years to tell.

See Mark in Action!